Réponse à un article anti-féministe

You belive in the traditionnal model of the leading man, the obeying woman, the working man and the housekeeping woman. I assume that since the 19 centuyry and even before, I already didn't work. Women always worked, inside or outside, to give more money to the family, especially I think in working-class families ( selling products at the market, recolting it, selling products to big companies or new fashion shops, writing under men names etc). But either it was not told, either the salary was given to the husband, or used to the family budget.What is say is : woman have always worked, and now it's official, there is nothing new about it.  It's not always about money, but keeping and having power is  about it.Today, the situations can always be inequal : the man is fired, the woman sustain the couple or the family, or the opposite. Or the two work, and It's just enough to sustain the family, or the two work and it isn't.

The second argument I would like to present is about the supposed financial and moral leadership of the man. Having the money is having the power : one canno't escape. And you know there is many forced relationships, or unhappy ,violent , tense, inequal relationships, When there is unhapiness, and when one person has no money to leave or escape, it make the situation even more complex and tense because there is no freedom to leave or stay. It helps to never resolve the problem inside the relationship. Would'nt it be better if a smart, a life earning and independant woman says to the man she love « I stay because I love you and I decided to solve the problem » instead of « I stay, because I have no money»? Independance can also create a good , sensible and profitable liberty, for the both persons. We have nowadays many examples of unhappy coupls staying together because of the need of each other money or the habits of living together and the fear of living alone. Or, maybe livinig alone is the good way to rediscover oneself and find the soulmate of an entire life, after acquiring experience and independance « I rely on no one, and that's why I'm choosing you, because you are my true choice. I stay with you becasue I love you and want to be with you. I f I wanted to, I would leave, but the fact that I am here means that my love is deep ». For my part, If would like to hear and to make such a declaration. 

All the fuss about the independance of woman have its origine. It have it's origin in the deep unhapiness of the woman condition in many countries and for centuries. The patriarchal system has not been kind to woman. Deprivation of goods, no rights to inheritance, no right to bear the mother's name,the respect only after having bear a boy, the lack of school for girl, the rapt that was denied, the lack of respect for the rebellions of woman against all this, the woman being a whore or an angel-mother, the creation of lack of self-respect,the mental and physical abuse.You need not to search for very long to see inegalities perpetuated against women all over the world : in India, women left by the husband because she canno't get pregnant, the contempt to their testimony in the Coran ( one woman voice is half worth of a man voice), physical abuse, even in France today, slavery, insults in the street, women obliged either to avort, either to keep the child.. … And on the constrary you have matriarcal system , which in past and present, were and are reputated to be most peaceful and esay to live. It's easy to imagine woman wanted to revolt and make changes, to have power in every possible way, even in an violent way.

For me, a countebalancing is in making. The feminism was born, and even if it could be exploited by the Illuminatis, fact which I have no arguments againt, it have now it's positive effects.The violent face of feminism  was a countebalancing  for violence and extremes, made to women in the earliest centuries. Now, it started to cool, and I see very positive things, men and woman I can respect equally, because they made the choice to live as they truly wished, and respect eachother for having the strenght to know themselves and be free of making choices.

In making choices, I mean a lot of things. For example : men who choose to be housemen ( see the website,http://www.hommeaufoyer.fr/ ), or woman who choose to be a housewife. Work on stay at home is not to be evaluated in worth, but in wishes and liberty of choices. When one is free to choose, the choice is then a true choice.When one is fully happy ,knows what he/she wants and doesn't make anyone else wrong, it can be deeply repected. I know women who doesn't want to have childs, and men who wish they could. Men who love men, woman who loves woman, transexuals, men and woman who love only God. There is so much diversity in wishes and natures, that the only mesure valuable for me is the hapiness of the person and of the persons around.

Have a men never wanted to find in his mate a strong person able to protect him? Love is about giving and receiving, in an equal way. If someone ( and I speak for me here) give me strength to go on, I want to give it back. If someone give me money to help me in my projects, I want to be able to do the same. If someone care for me everyday, bringing me tea to bed when I'm sick, I wish to give it backIf someone secure me, I want to secure him. And to be able to do this, I must have conditions to do this : strength, money, wish and possibility to care. For me, love is being able to say « I love you and you can belive that I have faith in you as you ahve faith in me, and the help you give me, I will return it entirelly ». Independance of the two people can bring hapiness. I can relax and feel safen , my mate can also, because we depend EQUALLY on each other. 

Of course there is perversion and inifidelities everywhere. The reasons of it is so complex that I would not judge and explain it, because everyone has its accidents in life, and its own journey. The point is that is not everything. Search a bit, and you'll see happy, healthy, respecctful , independant woman able to love , be loved and to care, but that mean you take the risk to loose her if you do wrong or if you not question and change yourself as the " dominant male" . She haves a lot to give to you if you give up this idea.

Someone said that the woman you choose and who choose to live with you reflects the quality of your soul, heart and mind. It is not being a man that is blamed, but the typical man behavior which stereotypes were ( maybe specially to damage the society) and are showed and conveyed by movies, books, images...and also in everyday life. Well, the male behavior was taken as a model in a certain period of the feminism, for a need to revenge and power after all the years of humiliation.But now freedom is becoming more feminine, and less violent.It was a relief, I think, not to be victims anymore, it is a relief now to find men and woman trully conscient of themselves.

Men have lost their traditionnal identity, bot only to find it better today, and more and more.They have more sweetness, more intuition. Women are more strong, and more careless. When the four caracteristics are equlibrated in one person, it makes a blooming persnnality. I respect my mate for being sensitive, and he respects me for being independant.

The situation is hard for woman now, because of the transition. The harrassment in the street proves it. Some men think that to show that they are true men,they have to dominate her by irrespectful accosting and insulting, which make them feel revengful and superior. If you try to react, they can laugh,violently react ( as if they were the victims) be ashamed, or abuse you.

I admit the situation is hard for men too, trying to find a place, a strength and an identity., hanig lose their dominant position.I admit the woman is sometimes too reactive by reading every situation as "machist" and "agressive". I admit that in every gender, there are two violent extremitie,but the middle exist too. The point is not : who do what,who is supposed to do what and what value it has, but what value do we put in our behavior, and how we can be lead to deeply respect and love each other in it's most real personnality. 

There is hope to change.There is something everyone can do : Think about himself, about what he/she really needs, how he/she considers her/his gender and what are the choices he/she can do in his life. Don't be affraid of changing,dont count on commercials to say to you who you are as a men and a woman. Not everyone will help you, but everyone will be relieved you had the courage to assume who you really are.

picture : Bodies, Robinhedberg, website Deviant art